When Troubled Waters Flow

I am so sorry I have been absent. Believe it or not, my father died exactly 2 months to the day as my son. So I guess I am getting pretty accustomed to the bereaving thing. I am so sorry I have been absent lately to my blog. I went into even a darker place after my father passed away so soon after my son. I promise I am back. After my father died, I really almost gave up. Has anyone else felt like this?

My father was a musician and a lead electrician for a major airline…Piedmont Airlines to be exact. He played the saxophone as long as I can remember, as a side gig. I grew up falling asleep on my mom’s lap during the late nights when my father played the local “honky tonks” on the weekends. I never minded. I always loved hearing my dad play the saxophone. I remember falling asleep so many times hearing him play his horn.

My dad was also a fix-it-man of sorts. He used to build television sets by mail-order kits he ordered. He really was a electrical genius. I don’t how many times my mom fussed at my dad for ruining our lanoleum floors by splattering soldering iron splash onto it. Lol.

My dad was also a musical genius. He played the saxophone, clarinet, and harmonica like nobody’s business. He won musical competitions playing his saxophone. One of my favorite memories of my father was always knowing I would get a phone call in my adult years to hearing him play “Happy Birthday” on his harmonica to me. I sure will miss hearing that birthday song by him.

There is so much I will share with you in time, just give me time. Losing my son and father really taught me the true value of life and how precious life is. I pray now to God daily, at least in my thoughts. I wonder if God hears my prayers when I don’t actually “speak” the prayer out loud. There are so many questions I have about God. As to how to pray, and other questions. I am sure those of you who are bereaved do as well. I am new to this bereavement heartache and I hope if anyone can give more advice on this subject, please feel free to answer. I just know others are going through the same heartaches I am and I hope this website will help the ones who are also as lost in the grieving process as I am. I hope that my writings will help others uncover that they are not alone in this process and they are not alone when they have questions too. This is not a website for all the answers, this is a website for healing and recovery and the chance for others to share what their grieving process has been like. I hope it sheds light on what people go through while grieving, so they don’t feel so alone. If you have any insight or suggestions, please respond. I am sure it will help me along with others.

Your friend,

Benjie

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